Chuck Norris

Nokkrar staðreyndir um Chuck Norris - sennilega einn svalasti maður sem kvikmyndavélin hefur náð að fanga ... að sumra mati (courtesy Gugga frænka):

*Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

*A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

*Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

*Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

*Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

*Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

*Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

*Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

*The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

*Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

*If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

*At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.

*Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.